Sick Day
by Minn-Maigi
Summary: After an accidental overdose of Euphoria crystals, Cyclonis begins to act... not normal. In an effort to try and fix things, DA, Ravess, and Snipe realize they'll have to get Cyclonis drunk for her to return to normal. Review!


**Yay! More comedic ****one shots! This time I'm not making fun of anyone… except for maybe a certain super-villain! Right now I have a poll going on (displayed in my profile). I want to know what you think I should write next so don't forget to vote! (Also, I can't take full credit for some of the jokes mentioned below)…**

Sick Day

"ACHOO!" Master Cyclonis sniffed and blew into a handkerchief as she trudged slowly down the hall. Her eyes were red and watery. It was eventually bound to happen. Not even the evil master of Cyclonia was immune to colds.

Cyclonis sneezed again as she made her way towards her main chamber. She had to reprimand Snipe for his latest failure, but truthfully, she wanted to crawl back into her soft bed waiting in her private chamber.

As she entered the large room, Snipe was already waiting for her. He turned to face his master and then sank onto one knee.

"Well?" asked Cyclonis in what was meant to be an intimidating tone, but what was actually quite comical due to her stuffed sinuses.

"I'm sorry, Master Cyclonis," said Snipe. "I didn't mean…"

"I don't want to hear lame excuses," interrupted Cyclonis. "I'm going to…to-ah…ah…CHOO!"

As Cyclonis sneezed, Snipe looked up. "Sneeze at me?" he asked bluntly.

"No, idiot!" Cyclonis yelled, annoyed at Snipe's stupidity and her constant sneezing. "Just…" but a violent cough interrupted her again.

"Cough at me?" asked Snipe.

"Idiot!" Cyclonis yelled. "Just get out of my sight!"

Snipe nodded and dashed out of the room. Master Cyclonis turned around to head back to her room, but instead found the Dark Ace standing in front of her.

"What it is, Dark Ace?" Master Cyclonis asked.

"We have new reports from Talon Flock B, and a shipment of skimmer parts just came in…" the Dark Ace had not finished his report, but Master Cyclonis waved him aside.

"You see to it," she said. "I need to rest."

The Dark Ace raised an eyebrow. It wasn't like Cyclonis to give unnecessary power to her followers. "If you really aren't feeling that well," said Ace, "why don't you use that nil crystal you took from the Storm Hawks?"

"Fool!" Cyclonis scolded him. "Crystals are objects of great power! They shouldn't be used frivolously on minor everyday things! They need to be used with respect!" The Dark Ace dropped the subject, unaware that the real reason Cyclonis didn't want to use the crystal was because she had, in fact, lost it.

Cyclonis turned away from the Dark Ace and walked to her room. "Have Ravess prepare a remedy for me," she called to him. "She knows where the recipe is." The Dark Ace bowed and left to fulfill his task.

***

"Faster! Play faster! Fool! You missed the repeat, and for goodness sake, use the lower half of your bow for the crescendo!" Ravess yelled at the Talons as the Dark Ace entered the room. Upon noticing him, Ravess waved her bow to gain the ensemble's attention. They all stopped playing momentarily. "What is it Dark Ace?" Ravess asked, clearly annoyed at the interruption.

"Master Cyclonis commands that you concoct a remedy for her cold. She says you know how…?" The Dark Ace ended his sentence with a question, implying that he had doubts about Ravess' abilities.

Ravess sneered. "Dark Ace…" she addressed the head Talon in a sing song voice. "I'm kind of in the _middle of something!_" Ravess growled out the last half of her reply. "Don't annoy me in the middle of practice!"

The Dark Ace cocked an eyebrow. "Are you refusing the wishes of Master Cyclonis?"

"What? No, just…"

"Then get to it." The Dark Ace smiled with a note of finality and confidently walked away. Ravess sneered again. She really hated him. He acted all high and mighty when she had almost as high a position as he did…

Suddenly, Ravess' train of thought was diverted as she noticed her clueless brother walk by. She smiled as inspiration took hold.

"Snipe! Snipe, get over here."

Snipe rolled his eyes as Ravess called him over. "What is it now, sis?"

"I need you to do a job for me. In the kitchen on the top of the fridge is a little box that holds numerous recipes for different remedies. The one in front should be for the cold. Make it, and then return it to me."

"Hey! I'm not doing your dirty work!"

"If you don't, I'll tell Master Cyclonis what happened to her favourite stuffed bunny when _someone_ snuck into her private chamber."

Snipe grunted. "Fine."

Ravess smiled. "Good, and make it quick." Without another word Ravess turned away from Snipe and gathered the attention of her musicians. "Right. Talons, let's pick up from the second movement…"

***

Snipe grumbled as he rummaged through the recipe box. "I hate being the little brother… always making me do stuff… oh here it is." In his hand, Snipe held a small piece of crumpled paper. At the very top were two underlined words: Cold Remedy. "Guess this was what she was talking about. Let's see… water, cream, almonds..." Snipe set to work, making sure to copy the recipe letter by letter. Needless to say, he didn't enjoy working in the kitchen, especially when two passing Talons laughed behind Snipe's back at the girly apron he was wearing. It was going smoothly until…

"A dash? What's a dash?" All of the previous instructions had precise measurements with them, however this one was vague. "_A dash of powdered Euphoria crystals_." Snipe read aloud. He looked down at the small bottle in his hands. It was filled with a fine powder, but it looked tiny in Snipe's hand. Shrugging, he dumped the entire contents into the bowl. "There," Snipe announced, quite pleased with himself. "That should do it."

***

Ten minutes later, Snipe approached Ravess with a small bottle. "There," he said bluntly, tossing the vial to Ravess. "Here's your stupid thingy."

Ravess caught it and examined the contents. The solid components of the remedy had been powdered in order to make it drinkable. It would taste alright but had the viscosity of a thick medicine.

"I suppose it will do," Ravess said, pocketing it. She stared back at Snipe, who was looking at her expectantly. "Yes?"

"I was hoping for a 'thank you'."

"Oh? What's that, Master Cyclonis?" Ravess mocked. "Why, yes! I _do_ know what happened to your beloved ."

"Never mind," Snipe grumbled as he walked away, sulking. Ravess smirked and headed off to Cyclonis' bedroom.

***

"Where is Ravess?" Cyclonis demanded. She was alone in her room, but complaining aloud was a good way to relieve stress. Master Cyclonis rolled over in bed and coughed. She was feeling terrible and wished more than anything that she still had to cuddle. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door and Master Cyclonis straightened up and tried to make herself look presentable and intimidating. "Enter," Cyclonis called out in a coarse voice. Ravess walked in, holding the small vile. The Dark Ace followed behind her, simply there by coincidence. "This is it?" Cyclonis asked, taking the medicine from Ravess.

"To your exact specifications," Ravess relied in that kiss-up voice she so often used. The Dark Ace rolled his eyes. Master Cyclonis inspected the bottle closely, but it seemed alright, because she uncorked the small vile and dark the contents in three large gulps.

"Are you alright?" asked the Dark Ace. Trust Ravess to accidentally poison the ruler of all of Cyclonia.

"The effects are almost immediate…" Master Cyclonis replied, somewhat distracted. "I should start to feel better…" There was a brief silence as Cyclonis let the medicine absorb into her system. But then, she was… giggling?

"Master?" asked the Dark Ace. "Are you _sure_ you're alright?"

Cyclonis didn't respond but merely continued to giggle and smile. She then looked up into the Dark Ace's face and laughed outright. "I am GREAT!" she said with a world of enthusiasm. "I feel so happy and joyful and FUN!" Cyclonis leaped out of bed and hugged the Dark Ace.

Shock. The Dark Ace and Ravess stared at their master with complete and utter shock. The Dark Ace was the first to say something. "Ravess…" he snarled quietly through clenched teeth, for the girl in front of him still clung to him for dear life. "What…did…you…_do_?"

"It wasn't me!" Ravess objected defensively. "I had… Snipe make the potion."

"Then perhaps you should get Snipe… _NOW_." Ravess immediately sprinted out of the room as the Dark Ace tried to pry Cyclonis off of him.

"Master?" asked the Dark Ace, sitting Cyclonis down on her bed. She bounced up and down, unable to keep still. "What's happened? What's wrong?"

"Wrong, wrong? Nothing's wrong. Everything is great. Great great great. HEY!" Master Cyclonis yelled, taking the Dark Ace aback. "Do you eat cheese?"

"Uhhh…" The Dark Ace merely sat there, lost for words. However, the return of Ravess and her brother brought his mind back on track.

The Dark Ace stood up and snarled at Snipe. "What did you do?"

"What do you mean?" asked Snipe, looking completely oblivious to what was going on. Suddenly, a high-pitched squeal erupted behind him.

"You got me a talking kangaroo?" Cyclonis asked, her eyes shining with joy and focused on Snipe. "YAY!" Cyclonis hugged as much of Snipe as she could, considering the size difference.

"_This_ is what I mean!" yelled the Dark Ace. "What did you put in the cold remedy?"

"Nothing!" Snipe said defensively. "I followed it word for word! …only."

"Only what?!?" Ravess and Dark Ace demanded of Snipe simultaneously.

"When it said a dash of euphoria crystals… I didn't know how much that was. So I…" Snipe faltered at the look that his fellow evildoers were giving him. He looked down into the face of Master Cyclonis, staring up at him with a huge smile and a look of wild excitement. "I put in the whole bottle."

"You did WHAT?!?!" Ravess erupted. "You IDIOT. How could you be so STUPID?"

"Hey! It's not my fault! _You_ were the one who was supposed to make it!"

"I… that's no excuse…!"

The Dark Ace rolled his eyes as Ravess and Snipe continued to fight. Was he the only one here with self-control? He watched as Cyclonis let go of Snipe and began to cheer.

"Ya! Go, Kangaroo-man! Tell her who's boss!"

The Dark Ace placed a hand on the girl's shoulder and looked down into her face. "Come on, Master Cyclonis. You need to rest."

"No way!" Cyclonis said, pulling away. "I need to first find the path to the blueberry trees!"

No one knew how to reply to Cyclonis' statement. They stood there in momentary shock, but then the giggling of their Master captured their attention once again. Cyclonis stood beside Ravess, pointing at the latter's hair.

"Heehheeehehheheheheheheheheeheheheeehehhhheheeeeheheheheheheheheeheheeeehee… …pink."

Ravess looked very unimpressed and then turned to her colleagues. "We need a way to snap Cyclonis out of this."

"There should be a book on Euphoria crystals somewhere in Cyclonis' lab," replied the Dark Ace. "You two go look for it. I'll…" the Dark Ace turned to Cyclonis who – from who knows where – somehow acquired a bubble wand and was blowing vast amounts of bubbles all through the hallway. "I'll keep her busy."

The brother and sister nodded and ran off, while the Dark Ace turned to face his Master.

"So… umm… Master. What is it you want to do?"

"Tell jokes!" Cyclonis yelled, spraying some spittle onto Dark Ace's face. He shuddered and wiped it off with his gloved hand.

"I was thinking more along the lines of bed rest and maybe some tea…"

"What did the Talon say when he lost his skimmer?" Cyclonis asked, completely ignoring her servant. The Dark Ace rolled his eyes and shrugged. With the expression of a five year old, Cyclonis called out, "Where's my skimmer?" Cyclonis then fell on the floor laughing her head off. The Dark Ace looked worried and didn't even crack a smile. "Okay,okay,okay," Cyclonis giggled, trying to keep a straight face and failing miserably. "Why did both the sky knights _and_ the Cyclonians run away from battle?"

"Can't we just stop and…"

"Because Ravess started to play her music!" Cyclonis interrupted once again and fell into a spiral of giggling. "Get it?" Cyclonis asked. "Because she's so _terrible_?"

"Yes, Master… I get it." Even though he pledged to follow her, Cyclonis was starting to grate on the Dark Ace's nerves.

"Alright, okay, last one."

The Dark Ace breathed a sigh of relief.

"Why did the sky monkey fall out of the tree?"

"Why?"

"Because he died." This time, Cyclonis didn't laugh. She stared wide-eyed at the Dark Ace with a dead serious expression on her face. It appeared that she had announced the most tragic and important fact in all the history of Atmos… and she was waiting for the Dark Ace to do or say something.

Unsure of what to do, the Dark Ace merely stepped back from Cyclonis and gave a timid smile. It seemed to please Cyclonis, for she gave a great big smile and hugged the Dark Ace.

"Master Cyclonis!" Dark Ace objected. "Is this really necessary?"

"Darky play dress up with me!"

"What?!" The Dark Ace yelled, trying harder than ever to pry his Master's hands off of him. "I am NOT 'Darky', and there's no way in the entire Atmos that I will _ever_ play dress up."

Master Cyclonis released the Dark Ace from her hug and began to pout. "Darky… doesn't like me?"

The Dark Ace groaned. "Master…"

"Darky… won't obey Cyclonis?"

The Dark Ace rolled his eyes. "I can't believe this is happening…"

Master Cyclonis smiled, taking the Dark Ace's comment as an agreement and began to rummage through her closet. "This is going to be FUN!"

"Kill me now…"

***

Half an hour later, Ravess and Snipe walked towards Master Cyclonis' room with the Euphoria crystal book.

"Finally!" Snipe moaned. "It took us forever to find that thing."

"Stop whining, Snipe," Ravess scolded. "Once we counteract the effects of those crystals, you'll _really_ have something to complain about."

"What's that even mean?"  
"Just try to keep up."

Ravess opened the door to Cyclonis' room and dropped the book in shock. Snipe came up behind her and almost fainted from the pure surprise and amazement at the scene before him and his sister.

Complete silence as everyone stared. Then…

"WHAAHAHAHAHAHHHAAAAHA HAHAHAHEWEHHEHEE HHHHWHEHEHA HHWHHEHAHHHWHWHE HHAHHAHHAHAHHAW!!!!!"

Ravess and Snipe were rolling on the floor in uncontrollable fits of laughter, for standing before them was Cyclonis, dressed as a Talon prepared for battle. Beside her was the Dark Ace, dressed as Aerrow from the Storm Hawks, complete with red wig and a too small uniform that hugged his body in a very uncomfortable looking way.

"We're playing Cyclonians and Sky Knights!" Cyclonis said, indifferent to the laughter of her minions. "Take that!" With a mighty thrust, Cyclonis pointed a stick at the Dark Ace, pretending it to be a crystal staff. The Dark Ace merely stood there, scowling at Ravess and Snipe.

"If you _ever_ tell _ANYONE _about this, I will tear you apart piece by piece." Despite his threatening tone, he still remained hysterical in appearance. Ravess and Snipe rose from the floor, trying the best to hold back their inevitable fits of laughter.

"We-heehehee have the-hehhehheh book…"

Ravess held it up and it was quickly snatched out of her grasp. The Dark Ace flipped madly through the pages as Ravess turned back to her brother and snorted with laughter behind her hand.

Cyclonis walked up beside the Dark Ace and peered at the pages. She was wearing his metal helmet thing and it was too big for her head, falling down in front of her eyes. "Wow!" Cyclonis announced, pointing at a picture of one of the crystals. "Look at the green of that crystal! The colour is so bright and vivid! It almost jumps out of the page, filling your senses with wonder and magic!" Cyclonis then pointed to the picture of a different crystal. "And the red of that one! It's so…so…"

"Red?" asked the Dark Ace, rather unimpressed.

"YES!" At Cyclonis' reaction, Ravess and Snipe both erupted again into loud guffaws. The Dark Ace ignored them and continued to skim through the book.

"Ah! Here it is... how to counteract the effects of a Euphoria crystal," The Dark Ace read aloud with relief. "The only known substance that works best against said effects is… …alcohol?"

The Dark Ace looked up in surprise and Ravess and Snipe mimicked his expression. Snipe turned to face Cyclonis who, at the moment, was twitching uncontrollably. "We're going to have to get her drunk for that to work."

"YAY!" Cyclonis yelled out. "BEER!"

"No!" objected the Dark Ace. "No beer!" He skimmed once again through the pages. "Maybe there's another way…" But there wasn't. The Dark Ace tossed the book aside and scowled. "Fine. I guess she'll simply have to drink as much as she can."

"Darky will drink with me!" Cyclonis cheered.

"What? No way am I going to drink! Why would I do such a thing?"

"If Darky doesn't drink, then neither will I."

Ravess and Snipe snickered as the Dark Ace sighed, knowing he would not emerge victorious.

***

Many hours and varied bottles of alcohol later…

"Think she's better now?"

Snipe and Ravess walked down the hallway towards Master Cyclonis' room. They had left the Dark Ace and Master Cyclonis alone for a good while and the latter was surely better by now. As they opened the door, they were slightly appalled at what they saw.

Both the Dark Ace and Master Cyclonis were completely, undeniably, one hundred percent drunk. The Dark Ace swayed back and forth, while Master Cyclonis laid on the floor, emptying off the last bottle of beer. Somehow, the red wig had found its way on top of a mop, and the Dark Ace held it upright with one hand, and threatened the inanimate object with his sword grasped in the other hand.

"Okay, Arerow," the Dark Ace slurred. "You're abou' to know wha' I can do. Sho you're gonna beg fo' mershy or wha'?" The Dark Ace then took a very badly aimed swing at the mop, missed, and fell on the floor. Meanwhile, Cyclonis stumbled over to Ravess and slung her arm around the woman's shoulders.

"Ha ha…Ya know, Rave…" Cyclonis mumbled out. "If yur hair weren't freakishly styled… we could be an acshual …ummm… ya." Cyclonis then fell and joined the Dark Ace on the floor. At the same time, both Cyclonians began to snore loudly.

Ravess rolled her eyes. "Come on, Snipe," she said. "Get the Dark Ace out of here while I place Cyclonis on her bed."

"Uh, won't they be sort of mad when they wake up tomorrow?"

"Don't worry," Ravess said with a smile. "I doubt that come the morning, they will even remember a thing."

**This is what is known as the ending. :P**


End file.
